In the beginning of last year, I was complaining about someone to my mom, saying specifically that I really didn’t like that most people didn’t understand and employ the strategies laid out in the book, “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey. She responded to me by asking, “Well, do you?”
My initial reaction was almost mindless, of course I did! If I weren’t, how could I criticize other people for not doing something that I also don’t do?
But some following reflection revealed that, no, I wasn’t putting the principles that I criticized other people for not using into practice myself.
This realization gave birth to a new mental framework that I try to apply in every situation I can.
Apply your criticisms of others to yourself.
This can be applied to simple and complex examples. Is someone eating with their mouth open bothering you, pay attention to yourself eating to make sure you aren’t bothering others.
Does someone have a filler word, such as saying “like” or “um” that annoys you? Pay attention to your own speech patterns and recognize your own filler words.
Does someone constantly think that their work is complete and that they are competent in a field that they’re not? Identify the indicators of the opposite, and check those indicators in yourself to ensure that you are not diluting yourself in the same way.
Not only does this help you improve on things that annoy you, but it turns potentially negative criticism into something positive. It’s impossible to change everything you don’t like about everyone else, but you can change the things that annoy you in other people about yourself.
I’ve found this to benefit me and help me make necessary changes in my life more than almost any other approach I’ve ever tried.
I hope it works as well for you,
Cooper Flourens